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Hate & Love - Our Africa Adventure Lesson by Paula Grey

Rob and I just spent most of the month of August, 2017 in Africa...5 countries (Tanzania, Rwanda, Zimbabwe, Botswana, and South Africa), 13 flights, 6 game reserves/parks.   It was a “trip of a lifetime” and I found a great love for the African people.   Around the time that racial craziness was happening in Charlottesville, NC, we visited the Genocide Museum in Rwanda.   Thousands of people were killed by friends and neighbors 23 years ago.   The museum is dedicated to the memory of those killed and the education about how and why genocide starts.   Genocide begins when people start identifying other people only by specific groupings (race, religion, culture, sex, etc.). Those seeking political power identify one group as “Bad” and works to make them a common enemy.   This common enemy creates an allegiance to a political leader.   In the museum they pay homage to other instances of genocide such as Nazi Germany.   A direct quote in the museum from Hitler that startled me
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Visioning Retirement by Paula & Rob Grey

We just completed five training sessions in the  Retirement Coaching Training Program sponsored by Mitch Anthony, author of The New Retirementality.   During these sessions Mitch presented 6 "tools" that are conversation starters which we will use in our "Retirement Coaching Starter Package". We both completed the tools and had our own personal retirement conversation.  A couple of our favorites were: Visioning :  This is an exercise where you rank 16 things to do in retirement by picking the top 6.  We were pleased that both of our visions were similar but it took some conversation to clarify our individual picks.  It is very important to identify where you and your partner's vision of retirement is in alignment. Lifestyle versus Economic Reasons for Working :  This exercise ranks 20 reasons for working and quantifies whether you value work for the lifestyle benefits or the economic payoff.  This helped us identify the aspects of work that we enjoy the mos
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The Probabilities of Living Past 80 & How Interests Shift ..... by Rob Grey

Two guys grow up together. After college one moves to Michigan, the other to Florida. They agree to meet every ten years in Vero Beach and play golf. At Age 30 , they finish their round of golf and go to lunch. “Where you wanna go?" "Hooters.”   “Why?” “Well, you know, they got the gals with the tight shorts, and the great bods' …” “OK.” Ten years later at age 40 they play. “Where you wanna go?” “Hooters. “Why?” “Well, you know, they got cold beer, and the big screen TVs, and the football games.” “OK.” Ten years later at age 50 they play. “Where you wanna go?” “Hooters.” “Why?” “ The food is pretty good and there is plenty of parking.” ”OK.” At age 60 they play. “Where you wanna go?” “Hooters.” “Why?” “Wings are half price.” “OK” At age 70 they play. “Where you wanna go?” “Hooters.” “Why?” “They have 6 handicapped spaces right by the door.” “OK.” At age 80 they play. “Where you wanna go?” “Hooters.” “Why?” “We’ve never
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ReFire To Something by Rob Grey

After retiring from the financial planning business, I became very aware of an emptiness inside.  I asked myself:  "If I am what I do, then who am I when I don't?"  I succeeded in retiring   from owning a business, but I was not prepared to " retire to"  something. One of the first challenges of ReFirement is to identify what to "retire to". How do I create purpose and meaning in my life if I have been consumed by my profession for 40+ years?  Answering this question started my self-discovery journey. The "7th Inning Stretch" is a time for me to contemplate and begin again to live the life that is true to my values.  I suggest that you begin your own journey by identifying your core values. One of the values that Paula and I have embraced our entire life is "making a contribution to others."  We facilitated a personal growth workshop called the Aspen Temenos   The work was very fulfilling but physically exhausting.  We stopped
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What Snakes Can Teach You about Retirement Spending by Paula Grey

SNAKES & THE IRRATIONAL FEAR OF SPENDING Now that I have settled into retirement, I am aware of an irrational fear that keeps popping up inside me.  I've focused most of my life on becoming debt free and saving for retirement but now that I'm retired with plenty of savings to fund my lifestyle, I'm afraid to spend my money.  Apparently, I'm not alone according to this article that I just read (see link below). When I was working on my Masters in Education, my thesis was "Coping With Cold Blooded Fear."  I had two pet boa constrictors that I kept in my classroom; my students loved them but many adults were very afraid of them.   Boa constrictors are not poisonous and can't strangle an adult so I identified this fear as an irrational one.  I started doing public talks with my snakes around my neck. Giving the talks helped me identify how to help people move beyond  their fears.  People asked, "are they slimy...will they bite...will they get tigh
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"Seventh Inning Stretch" ..the beginning of your path to ReFirement by Paula Grey

REFLECTIONS ON MY 7TH INNING STRETCH I fully retired about a year ago after a previous year of stress (lawsuit threat, cancer, business sale and family drama).  Unlike a baseball game where there is a time limit on the 7th inning stretch, I think everyone's timeline and experience will be unique.  I was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted so I have taken my time and I am grateful that I had the resources to do so. During the 7th inning stretch at a baseball game, some go for refreshments or the restroom, some chat with friends and strangers or just relax in the sun.  I like to stand up and sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" then dance to "Haaaaaay Baby" after which I'll drink a beer (and I hate beer).  This past year I have been singing with relief (I'm cancer free, the business sale went extremely well, the lawsuit went away...family drama still exists, but you can't have everything).  I've also been dancing with adventure (travel
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My Mortality Alarm Went Off by Rob Grey

Sometime in your 60's or 70's your mortality alarm will go off.  Mine went off when I turned age 70 and handed over my retirement planning business to my son and Buckingham Strategic Wealth. Conventional wisdom and practice keeps our inevitable demise and its dimensions off-limits in most day to day conversations.  However, when you are in the retirement planning business, the longevity conversation is center-stage when a client asks: "Will my money last as long as I will?" My typical response was: "Are you more concerned about living too long or dying too soon?"  Indeed, most of the clients were more concerned about outliving their money and becoming dependent on others. In order to focus the conversation, we suggested that clients go to www.livingto100.com   and answer the 40 questions that will suggest your life expectancy.  I am am expected to live to 92 and Paula to 105.  So at my age 70 and Paula at age 68,  we have the potential for 22-37 years in
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